Friday, April 30, 2010

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I monger, you monger, we all monger for ice cream.

Senator Harry Reid (Nevada)

Harry, you pompous windbag, you're about as charming as a sack of genital warts. Go hump a rusty pencil sharpener you maggot.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Speaking of Janes Addiction.....

I'm a bit under the weather, so just video for now.

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Mongering just for the fun of it...

Senator John Ensign (Nevada)

I hope you get caught in a shitstorm wearing cuffed trousers. Wanker...

Round 2.... It's on!!!!!

Hmmm.... Wyatt should be chiming in .... 3, 2, 1......

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Weezer, Buddy Holly

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Mongering until hog-branding time.
Senator Ben Nelson (Nebraska)
Ben, you are as thick as manure and only half as useful.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

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I can monger in five languages...
Senator Mike Johanns (Nebraska)

"He's lying."

Hockey Prayer

Our Forecheckers, who art enshrined in rinks immortal, hallowed be thy blades. I beseech thee, and your patron saints, Shore, Clapper, Hitchman, and those patron saints still with us, Orr, Schmidt, Espo, Neely, O'Reilly, Bucyk, Bourque and all the saints who have done your will throughout the ages, bestow upon your faithful believers and practicers a victory in this contest. Give us this day many rubber biscuits in nets opposing, and forgive us our trespasses, as we inflict taunting and scorn upon those who trespass against us. And lead us not into an off-season of golf, but deliver us to play another round.

-Courtney Rau

Random Quiz of the day

You Are Gonzo the Great

"Is something burning in here? Oh, it's just me."

You're a total nutball who will do anything for attention.

The first to take a dare, you'll pull almost any stunt.

You're one weird looking creature, but your chickens don't mind!

OK, I can live with that....

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sometimes I sleepmonger.

Senator Jon Tester (Montana)

This is the satisfied look of a man who has had sex with a tractor.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Raveonettes Black/White Sound of Color

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Mongering on my day off...

Senator Max Baucus (Montana)

The spin is rooming again Max.

You make the baby Jesus cry every time you give a drunken speech on the senate floor.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Church - Under The Milky Way (HQ music video)

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Half way there!!!!

Senator Claire McCaskill (Missouri)

I would rather drink a gallon of Rosie O'Donnells underboob sweat than so much as look at you for five minutes.

Friday, April 23, 2010

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Mongering from an undisclosed location.

Senator Kit Bond (Missouri)

Wiping that stupid look off your face is probably fatal when you're composed of 93% stupid.

The The, Love is Stronger than Death

perhaps his greatest work.... musical poetry. enjoy.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

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Mongering in 3, 2, 1.....

Senator Roger Wicker (Mississippi)

You are an unconscionably debauched sloven and a demented, nose-picking curse on society. You even smell stupid.

But what about my other brain...?

Your Mind is Green

Of all the mind types, yours has the most balance.

You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver.

You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

Here, Have a Nerdgasm.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

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Tired, but mongering anyway....

Senator Amy Klobuchar (Minnesota)

Amy, you are a malignant growth on the sphincter of society. Naked pictures of you should be used instead of waterboarding. Slut....

Sunday, April 18, 2010

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I, monger, therefore I am.

Senator (OMFG) Al Franken (Minnesota)

I would rather lick Paris Hiltons toilet seat clean than spend one minute with you. Having magical unicorns shit in my eyesockets would be more fun than being with you.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Your random Quiz of the day awaits...

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person.

However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways.

You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order.

You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

Hmmmm.... I'd have an enormous schwanzstucker....

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Mongering to the beat of a distant plumber...
Senator Debbie Stabenow (Michigan)
If someone pelted your face with yellow toenail clippings and wood glue, it just might be an improvement...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Rolling Stones - Heart Of Stone

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Mongering for the people...

Senator Carl Levin (Michigan)

Carl is a man who clearly knows how to get rid of the smell of hookers and cheap whiskey. His favorite movie is Frankenhooker and he's bought more rectal thermometers than any man alive.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

So creepy I had to share.... You've been warned.

H/T Hsu

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Mongering with an enthusiasm not witnessed by many.

Senator Scott Brown (MA.)

Scott Brown, full time male prostitute, part time senator. He's always ready to sex you up for your vote.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Squirrel Nut Zippers: Hell (Live on Letterman)

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Senator John Kerry (MA.)

You can hardly see the scars where the bolts were removed from his neck...
Seriously, Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Monday, April 12, 2010

Why Yes, I Do.....

You Speak New England Slang

New England Slang: 100%

Aussie Slang: 50%

British Slang: 50%

Canadian Slang: 25%

Prison Slang: 25%

Southern Slang: 0%

Cowboy Junkies, Misguided Angel

Just too tired to monger today....

Sunday, April 11, 2010

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I'm just a hate mongering fool.

Senator Barbara Mikukski (Maryland)

"You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks...
...Then you can give me a fucking automobile - a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick - four fucking wheels and a seat!"

Friday, April 9, 2010

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I can smell the hate from here...

Senator Benjamin L Cardin (Maryland)

Ben, you are a poisonous festering boil on the ass of humanity. May rabid squirrels attack your crotch to collect nuts every Friday morning.


THE THE - Uncertain Smile (live)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

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Will still hate monger for food... and beer.

Senator Olympia Snowe (Maine)

It once got so cold in Maine, Olympia froze one of her balls off.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

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Will hate monger for food...

Senator Susan M. Collins (Maine)

I do not like Sue in a boat, I do not like Sue in a moat. I do not like her up in Maine, I do not like her putrid name.

I'll now insult this wicked cow, my only thought is where and how...?

I think I'll say she stinks of poop, like chickens in a filthy coop.

Oh, and she's a slut too.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Fog of War

OK, so this is out.... Coverup?.... No, just poor decisions made from a distance and after the fact. The most accurate measure of the average soldier is how the boots on the ground responded after seeing wounded children. War is a messy thing and hindsight is 20/20. A coverup would never have survived 3 years and wind up on youtube.

HT/ Wired

Random Quiz Time

You Are Arson

No doubt about it, you have a serious destructive streak. You can't help it!

Sometimes you just get so frustrated with the world, and you have to let your aggression out

You have a notoriously bad temper. You are obsessed with getting your revenge.

You are obviously a pyromaniac, whether you realize it or not. It feels great to watch something burn.

Maybe I have a Beavis moment now and then....

Sunday, April 4, 2010

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Loving the hate every day....
Senator David Vitter (Louisiana)
Chronic verbal masturbation.... Lets all hope that a cure is coming... soon.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

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Enjoying the seething hate...

Senator Mary Landrieu (Louisiana)

Mary, You're about as much fun as pulling tinsel out of a dogs ass on Christmas morning.

Friday, April 2, 2010

The Cramps - Dames, Booze, Chains and Boots

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A third of the way through the pile of turd.
Senator Mitch McConnell (Kentucky)
Mitch, you flatulent sack of fermented prostitute drippings... You are the bacon stain on pink frilly underwear.

Thursday, April 1, 2010


I discovered yesterday morning that a moat was being dug around my abode. My internet access was the first casualty.
I've decided to share some Vogon poetry to mark the occasion...
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
I hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did.

More Rural Crumble

I was afraid to sneeze near it!!!