Insulting My Facebook Friends (part 3)

Kimmy was assaulted with a turkey baster and enjoyed every second of it. What a tramp.


Kevin was born with a tail... He keeps it in a jar in the fridge now.


Kim makes the baby Jesus cry every time she touches herself.


Kristen has the distinct odor of a wounded badger.


Laini makes wonderful road-kill banana bread.


contrary to popular belief, there is some good in Larry.... it's located behind his left kneecap.


Laura has the largest collection of nude Don Knotts pictures in the northern hemisphere. (That includes the tattoo on her right butt cheek.)


Linda was once hired as the stunt double for Grace Jones..... sadly, Grace wanted to do her own stunts in Conan The Destroyer.


Every time Lizz tells a joke, an angel has his wings ripped off and gets a vodka enema for the pain.


Lois was the inventor of the less popular...... Serious Putty.


Lori D knows exactly how to make any man purr like a wookie..... the little tramp.


Lori L. touches herself every time she thinks of Andy Rooney.


Lori R. has sold her virginity on e-bay thirty-seven times..... and counting...

Home again

So I’m flying back to Boston last night and I started to get nervous… I’m not quite sure when it started,… it might have been when the co-pilot decided to start selling off baggage that wouldn’t fit in the overhead compartments or when he started directing passengers to the smoking section…… on the wings.

Maybe it was during the pre-flight when he made a noose out of the seatbelt and proceeded to strangle himself….

I’m not quite a hundred percent on this, but when the flight attendants were pointing out where the emergency exits were, I swear he was dancing YMCA behind them.

What I am certain of was the dizzying array of insults he hurled at the crew and passengers alike. Anyone who failed to move fast enough was a target…. “You!!! (describing the victim for that extra humiliation…) red hat with the brown duffel bag… why are you moving slower than a snail in a glue factory?” “There are ninety people waiting for YOU!!!!”

At this point, I started to like the old coot, so long as nobody let him fly…

I started to take a nap a few minutes into the flight only to be smacked on the head with a rolled up magazine by my favorite co-pilot. “If I can’t sleep, nobody does!!!” Can’t argue with that logic…

A few minutes later he was back in the cockpit daring the pilot to do a loop over an open mic.

Anyway, I had a great time in the Carolinas. It’s always good to see some of the Watson clan. Thanks for the hospitality and the driving guys.

As for N. Carolina, Thanks Jasyn for a wonderful time. You are as beautiful as ever and have an amazing family. I miss you all dearly.

-Sully

Imperial Camels

I cant wait!!!!

Thanksgiving quiz

You Are The Stuffing

You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together. People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

Blogthings: Free Quizzes for Everyone

Insulting My Facebook Friends (Part 2)

Frank, I heard two cats humping last night and immediately thought of you..... bastard.

Gillian, You shall be insulted by the greatest insult artist ever to grace the small screen, and the universal patron saint of robot haters, Dr Zachary Smith.... You nagging ninny of a nincompoop, you bubble headed booby....... oh the pain the pain!


Greg, may ten thousand midgets tap dance on your scrotum you little twerp.


Iris, may your shoes be filled with walrus poop for eternity.

Jacquie... aka Jack-Ass.... may Amy Winehouse pelt you with toenail clippings... you tramp.

James, may you be smothered by Rosie O'Donnell's hairy assflaps.... you maggot.


Jason, you sir, are an ass-half. It would take two of you to make a complete asshole.


Jasyn, Hab SoSlI' Quch!


Jen D, one thing in your fridge has been down my pants....... BON APPETIT !!!!


Jen C, aka Cava-Floozy, may Gary Busey lay a moist fart on your oatmeal every morning, you tart.


Jasyn wanted a human insult..... so...... may your boobs bruise your kneecaps in three years time... you wench.


Jen H has a golden arches tramp stamp.... millions and millions served.


Jen T belongs in a bad sideshow.... somewhere between the amazing two eyed cyclops and Skippy the talking mime.


Jillian, may you step in dog poop and climb a ladder today.



This is just getting way too fun!!! You a-holes.

Wedding disaster

Nice to see that the bride keeps whats left of her chin up.

Insulting my Facebook Friends... Part 1

I've decided to have a bit of fun on Facebook at my friends expense, of course. Using Wowbagger, the Infinitely Prolonged as my muse, I've decided to insult all of my Facebook friends...... alphabetically.

I started off a bit slow, but I think I'm getting the hang of it now.

This is part 1


Scott Sullivan has decided to insult each and every one of my wonderful friends.... Alphabetically...



Andrea D smells of cabbage. There, take that sweetie.


Andrea W has defective lips.


AnneMarie makes substandard pies... take that dear...


Anya has been known to soil the Batmobile


Brian is not a well respected goat herder


Briant has been known to choke on vomit... not necessarily his own.


Bridget, Your mother is an hamster and your father smells of elderberries!


Bruce Lee Jr. loves midget porn.


Carla clearly has insane friends.


Cat marches to the beat of a distant plumber.


Charlene causes temporary blindness when taken in small doses.


Chris C. piss off, you hog humping rectum head.


Colleen, bite me, you life sucking putrid tramp.


Corinne, you porn star wanna-be, minni Gianna, butt licking floozy.... and your insult is... you stink.


Courtney, you will be insulted in the form of a Haiku...
Wrapped in a snuggie:
The snow is fast approaching:
You, a filthy whore:


Cybele, You cold hearted, fashion challenged, vacillating tramp. Have a nice day.


Dan D, Go take a flying leap you vomitous mass of puss filled monkey spunk.


Dan M, may your pets conspire to eat you and your family as you sleep, you sad excuse for a pimp daddy.


Darlene, you make me sick, you amazonian, vermin infested, freakshow floozy... see you soon.


Dave K, You suck, A Rod sucks, Jeeter sucks, Steinbrenner sucks, The Yankees suck.... and you suck once again.


Dave L, you are a festering boil on the ass of humanity. Just like the Yankees...


Dave M, you turd like, scrawny Mick Jagger wanna be, smelly crotched dick.


Deb M, I'll be using the random zombie insult generator on you, you stupid, bumwipe, pukestick.... braaaaaaaaaaaiiinnnsssssssss!!!!!!


Lots of people ask me how I could possibly insult such a nice girl like Deb S..... well, like this... You vapid shrew, may the fleas of a thousand mountain goats infest your crotch.


I do not like Denise Phelan, I do not like her in a can, I do not like her in a boat, I do not like her with a goat. I do not like Denise Phelan, I do not like her Scott I am.


Denise W, "[Thine] breath stinks with eating toasted cheese." Shakespeare from: Henry VI, part 2


Donna, may you be eaten alive by zombie midgets with chainsaws.


Earl kicks puppies and kittens when nobody is looking.


Ellen, you vacuous shrew... may your face catch fire and be extinguished with a hammer.... you slut.


Erin, may you be violated a thousand times by Abe Vigoda, you hoe.


Ferval is an alias!!!! he is actually Dr. Zaius - Orangutan and one of the leading council members. He holds the official title of "Keeper of the Faith" and appears to believe that the only good human is a castrated and brain damaged one. Shaving your hair off isn't fooling anyone you damn dirty ape!!!