Friday, January 15, 2010

Insulting My Facebook Friends (Part 5)

Kare...... (ahem) Naomi is still new. You may begin shooting daggers out of your eyeballs anytime now dear.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you Nicole, chop her into small pieces and put her in a blender.

Packy, Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday.

I gave Paul the rare opportunity to insult himself, he said something about Border Collies and unnatural acts..., That's just not insulting enough. Paul, you sir, are a Yankees fan.

Rachael W is what you get when you shave an Ewok.

Rachel R. is the one who taught manatees to attempt to mate with boat propellers... you sick, sick woman.

Rik picked a bad morning to stop freebasing heroin.

Rodger has genuinely touched so many people over the years.... clearly the restraining order was a good idea.

Rosemary is suspected of smuggling clowns into the country.

Sally, I'm so glad that career in competitive eating is working out for you.

I haven't eaten baloney in years because of Sarah.
Did I mention that your porn name is Sarah Slabs?

I'm digging a moat around the house to keep Scott D out.

Nobody is gonna get this, but Sid..... Silflay Hraka!!!!

Stefan was Al Rokers man-whore before meeting Sarah.

Steve was last seen reading "100 things to do with a dead hooker."

I don't give a rats ass what Susan thinks!!!! Euripides was not an ancient Greek tailor.

Tara, I hope Ted liked the tattoo of Tony Randell's face you got on your ass.

Teri, remember during that tornado when that house fell on you... I think I figured out who stole your shoes.

Tim, you crud-infested armchair philosphizing hog-humping dickwad.... you smell of burnt goat cheese.

Tom has been known to eat ants with his ice cream and wash it down with toilet water.

Tony, I was told by Pat Robertson that bad things should happen to you because of your pact with the devil.... You Satan worshiping sinning bastard.