Saturday, February 28, 2009

Friday, February 27, 2009

I've got blisters on my eyeballs!!!

This is a tribute to a bad album cover list I got from Court a while back.... Please remove your eyes for your own safety.


Maybe I've watched Charlie & the Chocolate Factory a few too many times, ... but... no... walking away from this now...




I just need a moment to take this in..... Noooo!!! Mama says you can't sing Col. Sanders!!!!




Larz, Larz, Lazs... the mortal enemy of my eyeballs...





Kinda makes you wonder what didn't make the cut...



Oh God!!! Not funky, not funky!!!




I have no idea what this says, but I'm buying an accordian.




Is that a bunny...?? Bwaahaaahaaahaaaa




...And who can forget that great sixties psychodelic polka band.




...So 5 guys in a field are the authority on lesbians... Damm, I had it all wrong...





Nope, he just changed the locks Gertrude.




Whoah!!!



Do I have a third choice?



Islam is safe...

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Need more music...



I have a soft spot for duets... This is one of the better ones. I'm going to have to work on a top ten list at some point. Suggestions are welcome.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

...And yet another useless Quiz




You Are an Astrologer



You tend to be a fanciful, spiritual person with many interesting theories.

You are always trying to figure out how all the pieces of the world are connected.



You have a knack for predicting the future and reading people.

In modern times, you would make a good self help guru or a director of a non profit.





Yeah, OK, I'll buy that.

P.S. Whose baby is that? What's your angle? I'll buy that. (Fred Flintstone.)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Octomom Nadya Suleman = A-Hole




It's irresponsible knuckleheads like this who give a bad name to charity. This woman is vile on several levels, but the worst is knowingly and needlessly endangering the lives of so many children.

DAILY NEWS STAFF

Friday, February 13th 2009, 12:53 PM

NBC
Nadya Suleman interviewed by NBC's Ann Curry.

"Is this how she's spending her octo-donations?

Octuplet mom Nadya Suleman was spotted Wednesday in California shopping for video games and was captured on film checking out the Nintendo Wii and its accessories. The Wii retails for about $250. The controllers she was eye cost about $40. If she buys one for all 14 kids, that will addup to about $560.



And how might she pay for such a purchase?

Suleman recently launched a colorful heart-covered website soliciting donations for herself and her gigantic brood.

The Internet web site, thenadyasulemanfamily.com, is decorated with a baby bottle, pacifer and a rainbow - and a giant "donate" button.

"We thank you for the love and good wishes sent to us from around the world," the site reads in bright purple letters resembling a child's handwriting.

"They are all healthy and growing stronger by the day" Suleman, 33, deemed a "proud mother of 14" on the site, gave birth on Jan. 26 despite $50,000 in debt and no job.

Visitors to her new website, therefore, can directly donate with a credit card.

The octo-mom insisted in an interview with NBC that she didn't choose to have the eight children by in vitro fertilization - on top of her six other kids - to get handouts.

"I'm not receiving help from the government. I'm not trying to expect anything from anybody. I just wanted to do it on my own," she said, adding that any assistance she's getting is "temporary."

The Los Angeles Times, however, is reporting that Suleman gets $490 a month in food stamps and another $600 in disability payments for three of her older children who suffer from ADHD, a speech impediment and autism.

The San Francisco Social Security Administration also told the paper that a single parent like Suleman with disabled kids could qualify for up to $2,900 a month in state and federal help."

I feel for these kids, I think they're pretty well screwed, but I could never send this woman a dime. I'd be too afraid it would end up as a botox injection.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

My Superhero Identity




Hat Tip to Wyatt for this bit of entertainment.

Hmmmm.... Damp Water Creature?? ...as opposed to the somewhat dry water creature?

I'm Moderately Moist Man.

If you want to create your own, click on the title to go to the Hero Factory.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

First attempt at a Caption Contest




All I know is that it's a phone booth aquarium.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Orbiting Spatula




With the recent collision of a defunct Russian military satellite and an American communication satellite used by the pentagon which couldn't possibly have been intentional, I started looking for other possible space debris that may pose a potential hazard... WIRED beat me to it ... those bastards!!!


Lost in Space: 8 Weird Pieces of Space Junk
By Clara Moskowitz February 13, 2009 | 7:58:29 PMCategories: Astronomy, Space


Humans have ventured into space over the last 50 years, and all manner of junk has been left behind. From tiny bolts to whole space stations, people have discarded lots of stuff up there. Much of it eventually dies a fiery death as it falls through Earth's atmosphere, but some larger debris poses risks for astronauts and spacecraft that could collide with it. Here are some of the quirkier items left in space:

1. Spatula
While spreading some goo as a test of heat-shield repair materials, spacewalking astronaut Piers Sellers accidentally lost a spatula he had been using. The mishap took place during the space shuttle Discovery's 2006 STS-121 flight to the International Space Station, on a mission to test new safety techniques after the 2003 Columbia disaster. "That was my favorite spatch," Sellers reportedly said. "Don’t tell the other spatulas."

2. Tool bag
Astronaut Heide Stefanyshyn-Piper lost her grip on a tool bag while doing a spacewalk in November 2008 to try to repair a jammed gear on a space-station solar panel. The 30-pound bag, filled with grease guns, a scraper tool and a couple of bags for debris, cost about $100,000. Amateur astronomers spotted subsequently spotted the bag in orbit, and North Americans can check to see if the tool bag is in their slice of the sky with Spaceweather.com's satellite tracker. Watch the bag float away below.


Click on the title for the rest...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Richard Williamson = A hole


What the heck is the Pope smokin?


(CNN) -- Germany's Catholic bishops are calling for the expulsion of a bishop, recently brought back into the church by Pope Benedict XVI, after new reports that Richard Williamson denies the Holocaust.


Bishop Richard Williamson, shown in a recent Swiss interview, says he'll recant "if I find this proof."

1 of 2 In statements to Spiegel Online, the Web site of the German news magazine, Archbishop Robert Zollitsch said the church should part ways with Bishop Williamson, a member of an ultra-conservative group that split off after Pope John Paul II excommunicated him and three other bishops in 1988.

"Mr. Williamson is impossible and irresponsible," Zollitsch, chairman of the German Bishops' Conference, told the magazine in an article published Saturday. "I now see no room for him in the Catholic Church."

The Vatican has faced criticism since Benedict lifted the excommunication of the four men January 21 and announced the move three days later. The announcement came days after a Swedish Public Television interview in which Williamson said Germany's systematic murder of millions of Jews during World War II never happened.

In the Saturday article, Spiegel quotes Williamson saying that he will not recant his theories and that he would need more evidence to believe the Holocaust really happened. Watch Argentines respond to ex-bishop's statements »

"If I find this proof, then I will correct myself," he said. "But that will require some time."

On Wednesday, the Vatican ordered Williamson to "distance himself" from his views "in an absolutely unequivocal and public manner."

I was tempted to give it to the Pope, but this just may be proof of senility.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Secret Sith


Jar Jar Binks, The truth behind the Evil


While many have considered Jar Jar to merely be an annoying CGI character whose screen time faded from episodes 1 - 3, I saw something else…. Something evil….

There were far too many incidents for it to have been mere coincidence. A closer look clearly reveals that Jar Jar is a Dark Lord of the Sith.

The evidence so far:

- On the entire planet of Naboo, Jar Jar literally bumps into Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan… This is a planet we’re talking about here folks… I don’t like the odds of that one bit at all, and furthermore, shouldn’t the heightened reflexes of a Jedi preclude anyone from casually bumping into them in the first place? Clearly the Dark side of the force was at work here. This meeting was no accident folks.

- Jar Jars excuse that he was kicked out of the Gungan City for his clumsiness just doesn’t add up.

- Jar Jar allows Qui-Gon to “save his life,” in order to facilitate his image as an oaf, and to gain a life debt that he would use later in order to save himself from having to use the Jedi mind trick on Otoh Gunga… Just a brilliant strategy.

- On Tatooine, Jar Jar attempts to provoke Sebulba into a fight just minutes after arriving on the planet…. He’s cleverly setting up his scapegoat for later… At this point, it’s clear that Jar Jar is a powerful Sith Lord indeed. His ability to locate anyone, on any planet is unrivaled.

- Qui-Gon begins to become suspicious of Jar Jar leading to a confrontation at the dinner table. (He may need to be eliminated…)

- Jar Jar attempts to sabotage Anikins pod racer with a wrench, C-3PO unexpectedly interrupts. Sebulba has already been set up to take the heat for this one, a gentle nudge with a Jedi mind trick is all that is needed for him to finish the job.

- It’s obviously Jar Jar who relays the coordinates to Palpatine. Darth Maul is sent to eliminate the overly suspicious Qui-Gon. (His failure will not be forgiven by Jar Jar.)

- Back on Naboo, Jar Jar is inexplicitly elevated to the rank of General by Otoh Gunga.
Seriously… WTF happened here!!! He’s clearly not even trying to hide the fact that he’s a Sith from Qui-Gon anymore. This is just a blatant Jedi mind trick. Come on now…

- If you think that I’m relying too much on Jar Jars use of the Jedi mind trick, just remember the battle of Naboo between the Gungans and the Droid army. Jar Jar destroyed scores of droids single handedly and he even made it look accidental.

- Should none of this evidence sway you, just remember that it was Senator Binks who proposed emergency power be given to Emperor Palpatine in episode 2.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Another Quiz.... and Yankees suck Dave




You Are WTF?



As far as you're concerned, the internet is getting weirder and weirder.

And you're the type of person who can never look away, no matter how bizarre or gross something is.



No doubt about it, there are some pretty deeply disturbing people out there. And they are totally shameless!

You can't help but say, "What the f*?" There really is no other appropriate reaction.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Grapevine... and its a great place to eat too...

I just can't get this one out of my head... It gets an honorable mention for the list. Great band, shafted by Dewey, Screwem and Howe.
video



OK, Grapevine didn't load.... so this will have to do...

He man and the Masters of the Universe


I still cant believe that they're making a live action film.... I did manage to get a photo of He-Man and Skeletor on the set...

Monday, February 9, 2009

Best Covers

What artists own their cover songs?

OK, this is something that has been kicking around in my head for a while now….

Lots of bands have done covers, but which ones did them better than the originals…?

I don’t expect anyone to agree with this list, I’m just throwing it against the wall and hoping that it doesn’t kill anyone…

#10
The Lemonheads, Mrs. Robinson

Remember, I said that I didn’t expect anyone to agree with my list!!!! I like the tempo, I think it works better.

#9
The Byrds, Mr. Tambourine Man

I’ll bet you didn’t know that it’s a Bob Dylan song…(Seriously…, Bob Dylan songs are almost their own category in this.) I even like William Shatners version… especially when he has a nervous breakdown at the end.

#8
Elvis Presley, Hound Dog

Written by Jerry Leiber & Mike Stoller, Willie Mae "Big Mama" Thornton was the first to record it in 1952..., but come on now!!! The King owns it!!

#7
Dynamite Hack, Boyz in the Hood

I can’t even explain how hard I laughed the first time I heard it…. Just for that, it makes the list.

#6
Faith No More, War Pigs

I know I’ll catch a rash of s**t for this one, but I stand by it… It’s better… Ozzy be praised.

#5
The Beatles, Twist and Shout

When you hear this song mentioned, how often do you think…. Isley Brothers.
The Beatles own it

#4
Sinead O'Connor, Nothing Compares 2 U

Maybe this one isn’t fair…. But a fist fight between Sinead O’Connor and Prince is too good to pass up.

#3
Marvin Gaye, Heard it Through the Grapevine

I know what you’re thinking… CCR is great on this one, but I didn’t make a mistake.

Gladys Knight and the Pips did it first.

#2
Cowboy Junkies, Sweet Jane

This list would be seriously flawed if the Cowboy Junkies were not on it… The Trinity session album is just beautiful.

#1
Jimi Hendrix, All along the Watchtower

Like I said before, Bob Dylan is fertile ground for covers… This one is the best.

A-Hole of the Week




This is going to be a new feature on Hillbilly, mostly because it dam near writes itself and there seems to be a surplus in A-Holes anyway.

What is it with guys like A-Rod anyway..? He was clearly a gifted athlete before the steroids. Does it not occur to these boils on the ass of humanity that cheating just might tick off the other guys in the locker room who play by the rules...?

A-Rod is that special blend of talent, entitlement, arrogance and stupidity that makes him the perfect choice as the first in a long line of A-holes.

On behalf of Babe Ruth, Roger Maris, Jimmie Foxx, Hank Greenberg and Micky Mantle... A-Rod, You are an Asshole!!!

Oh, ...and Yankees suck Dave...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Quizz Time!!! Can't argue too much with the result...




You Were a Creative Kid



When you were a kid, you always had to be doing something with your hands.

Whether you were painting a picture or just doodling, you had to be creating something.



You were too busy thinking about your future creations to listen in school.

It's likely that every part of school was a challenge for you, except for art class.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

James

Laid
video







This song just had me in stiches!!!!

Monday, February 2, 2009

My 10 Batshit insane movies

My 10 Batshit insane movies

10: The Wizard of Oz:

If you consider the time period when this was made, you really have to hand it to whoever pitched the idea to the studio...

Movie Exec - "Excuse me, did you say flying monkeys?"
Pitch Man - "Yes sir, and a giant cast of midgets.... "
Movie Exec - "What kind of movie is this again?"

9: Get Crazy

Maybe this one is just the drugs talkin.

8: Boxing Helena

Again, you’ve got to hand it to whoever pitched the idea.

“So you want to have this guy cut the limbs off a beautiful woman and call it a love story….. Hmmmm…, any midgets and flying monkeys in it?”

I still think the end was a cop out, but hey …I’m just sayin.

7: Cemetery Man

If you ever have a hankering for a Zombie, soft-core porn, romantic dark comedy. This is your film!!

6: Fantastic Planet

Yes, we’re all Oms… Much to my enjoyment, this whole movie is available on you tube.

I think about this movie a lot while I’m stepping on ants.

5: Plan 9 from Outer Space

Ed F**king Wood , need I say more?

4: Orgazmo

Why did it not shock me that Matt and Trey would try to make something this offensive.
I kinda got the feeling that it was their tribute to The Producers.

3: Donnie Darko

Hey, whenever you can insert a giant menacing bunny into a film for no f**king reason, you just made the list buddy.

2: A Clockwork Orange

From the man who some say invented bat-shit insane, a movie the poses the question, “Is free will a good thing or not?” In this movie it is a resounding not.

Singin’ in the rain, just singin’ in the rain….

1: 200 Motels

Where the f**k do I begin…