Having more ups and downs than a narcoleptic elevator repair man during kangaroo mating season.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Secret Sith
Jar Jar Binks, The truth behind the Evil
While many have considered Jar Jar to merely be an annoying CGI character whose screen time faded from episodes 1 - 3, I saw something else…. Something evil….
There were far too many incidents for it to have been mere coincidence. A closer look clearly reveals that Jar Jar is a Dark Lord of the Sith.
The evidence so far:
- On the entire planet of Naboo, Jar Jar literally bumps into Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan… This is a planet we’re talking about here folks… I don’t like the odds of that one bit at all, and furthermore, shouldn’t the heightened reflexes of a Jedi preclude anyone from casually bumping into them in the first place? Clearly the Dark side of the force was at work here. This meeting was no accident folks.
- Jar Jars excuse that he was kicked out of the Gungan City for his clumsiness just doesn’t add up.
- Jar Jar allows Qui-Gon to “save his life,” in order to facilitate his image as an oaf, and to gain a life debt that he would use later in order to save himself from having to use the Jedi mind trick on Otoh Gunga… Just a brilliant strategy.
- On Tatooine, Jar Jar attempts to provoke Sebulba into a fight just minutes after arriving on the planet…. He’s cleverly setting up his scapegoat for later… At this point, it’s clear that Jar Jar is a powerful Sith Lord indeed. His ability to locate anyone, on any planet is unrivaled.
- Qui-Gon begins to become suspicious of Jar Jar leading to a confrontation at the dinner table. (He may need to be eliminated…)
- Jar Jar attempts to sabotage Anikins pod racer with a wrench, C-3PO unexpectedly interrupts. Sebulba has already been set up to take the heat for this one, a gentle nudge with a Jedi mind trick is all that is needed for him to finish the job.
- It’s obviously Jar Jar who relays the coordinates to Palpatine. Darth Maul is sent to eliminate the overly suspicious Qui-Gon. (His failure will not be forgiven by Jar Jar.)
- Back on Naboo, Jar Jar is inexplicitly elevated to the rank of General by Otoh Gunga. Seriously… WTF happened here!!! He’s clearly not even trying to hide the fact that he’s a Sith from Qui-Gon anymore. This is just a blatant Jedi mind trick. Come on now…
- If you think that I’m relying too much on Jar Jars use of the Jedi mind trick, just remember the battle of Naboo between the Gungans and the Droid army. Jar Jar destroyed scores of droids single handedly and he even made it look accidental.
- Should none of this evidence sway you, just remember that it was Senator Binks who proposed emergency power be given to Emperor Palpatine in episode 2.