In a fit of rage early this morning, Vice President Dick Cheney shot and killed Big Bird. Witnesses say that upon leaving a scheduled visit with a Mr. Oscar T. Grouch at his downtown residence on Sesame St. The vice President decided to go pheasant hunting.
Seeing that there were no pheasants in the area, the Vice President grew frustrated until he took aim at the nearest flightless bird he could find.
“He just turned and shot!” said one witness who only wanted to be identified by the name Bert. “I swear there was a look of glee in his eyes immediately afterwards.” said his companion Ernie.
Just moments ago, the White House released information that they are taking preemptive steps to combat the bird flu.