Saturday, September 19, 2009

20 Facebook updates that made me chuckle

20 Status Updates

1: I'm not schizophrenic... and neither am I.

2: Every time I hear the phrase, "Be fruitful and multiply." I picture Paul Lynde working on a math problem.

3: ...And now for my next trick, I shall turn beer into pee.

4: (Matty) just buried his poor dog..........................alive.

5: Has decided to stop talking to everyone, let me know how I'm doing & I'll get back to you.

6: burned 850 calories at the gym. That's like, ummm, worth 6 Guinness draughts tonight, right? (MCB)

7: has the attention span of a

8: Soylent Green is Clowns!!!! That’s why it tastes funny!!!

9: Forcing mimes to talk.

10: The parking lot attendant at the Betty Ford Clinic is the bravest man in the world.

11. is feeling nice today... tomorrow I might put a couple of sharp rocks under the Slip -N- Slide.

12. Is developing an immunity to Iocane Powder.

13. Started watching Locked up Abroad until I realized it wasn’t what I thought.

14. Watched an episode of The Naked Archaeologist.... again, not what it sounds like.

15. Noticed half a moth in my glass of water this morning. (hmmmmmm...)

16. When I heard the knock at the door say "Alcohol, Tobacco, and firearms", naturally, I thought it was a delivery! (MW)

17. wonders what metaphor a brick might choose for rapid falling. (SC)

18. If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you. (MW)

19. has an enormous schwanzstucker.

20. ThE sPiN iS rOoMiNg

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